In the early months of his reign at Marseille, Chris Waddle used to be picked up for training by the Brazilian defender Carlos Mozer.
Chris didn’t have Portuguese, Mozer not a word of English. French was a long way away.
As they drove, initially in silence or with bad French pop on the radio, this impish man, who became known as ‘Magic Chris’ or ‘Bugs Bunny’ while winning three straight French league titles, came up with a way to break through the language barrier.
He just said: ‘Pele.’ And looked to his left.
Mozer was silent for a few seconds. Then answered: ‘Bobby Moore.’
Chris countered with: ‘Jairzinho.’
Mozer came back with: ‘Bobby Charlton.’
And so it went, day after day, week after week, the entire litany of famous British and Brazilian players – the only way these two thoroughbred footballers had to communicate with each other while they briefly morphed into commuters.
When he told BackPage and I this story, Chris stood up and mimed how the two men would arrive at training, leave the car and give a tiny nod of ‘see ya’ to each other and not speak again until the next morning, when they’d start with Nobby Stiles and Garrincha.
It’s the germ of an idea for Peter Kay for the next series of Car Share.
But it was told with wit and warmth and Chris’s natural raconteur style. I’m full of praise, I know, for the guests on the Big Interview podcast whenever I write or talk about them. But there’s a reason for that. They are not new to me, instead they are handpicked because I already like, admire or revere them.
Yet when it turns out that they are not only good at what originally attracted my attention but also natural story tellers, well, that’s an additional joy.
In this podcast Chris talks about playing motorbike-sidecar musical chairs with his brothers en route from the North-east to Watford in 1966. This is him reliving the moment. Loco.
He’s engrossing about how Arthur Cox bullied him, remorselessly, at Newcastle. But bullied him into being a better pro, a dedicated winner and someone who valued professionalism as highly as he did entertainment. It was a painful journey but one which rewarded both men handsomely.
Karaoke, Top of the Pops, World in Motion, Beckenbauer, World Cup Italia 90, Jack Charlton, Gazza, Hoddle, Papin, Ossie Ardiles, Sheffield Wednesday, the technique of how to toast a full-back, being booted by defenders, England’s skills deficit and how to cure it … it’s all here.
And much more.
Chris also talks, calmly, honestly and carefully about depression and stress in football and emphasises one of the only sure-fire remedies to that feeling which sportsmen and women hide behind a positive exterior – quiet, hopeless desperation. That remedy is to talk, to share, to seek help and to realise that you are neither alone nor the first. Not anywhere close.
But it’s an upbeat, colourful, very funny chat. A morning well spent talking about a career well spent.
When the mic was off and we weren’t recording, Falkirk came up. When he signed at Brockville he was ushered to the ‘sponsor’s room’ and, literally, couldn’t get in because of the crush of people there. Several had to squeeze out the door so that the star signing could get in. He loved the eccentricity.
How did it compare to his welcome at Marseille when he became the third most expensive footballer in the world?
Quite well actually. On that day in southern France there was nobody from the club, no fans – just a clutch of French media who mobbed him.
Slowly it became clear that the initial conversation, in the reporter’s perfectly adequate English, was going astray.
“What songs will you be performing tomorrow night?” Chris was asked.
‘Wow! Diamond Lights DOES travel well!’ he began to think to himself with gentle satisfaction.
Until it emerged that the French media were convinced they were dealing with the lead singer of Pink Floyd, not Marseille’s expensive new winger.
Somewhere, a few kilometers away, perhaps David Gilmour was doing ‘doggie’ runs in the blazing sunshine, passing to and fro with Eric Cantona and crossing for Jean Pierre Papin to volley home.
That part we’ll never know. Everything else is here in the Big Interview. Enjoy.
